5 Things You Should Know about Being a Parent

I have recently become a great-grandfather, welcoming two great-granddaughters and one great-grandson into our family. Here are some biblical thoughts about childrearing that I am passing on to my grandchildren and their spouses.

1. Parenting is an important calling that God has given you.

Psalm 78 comes to mind:

He [God] established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God. (Ps. 78:5–7)

What could be more important than passing on truth about God to the next generation? What could be a more significant legacy than generation after generation setting their hope in God? You will have many challenging opportunities in your life, but few will ever be as impactful as raising children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:3).

2. Learning to live under authority is foundational.

In Ephesians 6:1–3, God addresses children: “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” God has drawn a circle in which children are to live. The boundary of the circle is to honor and obey parents. God promises wonderful blessings as a child lives in the circle; it will go well, and they will enjoy long life.

These are blessings every child and parent wants. Honoring and obeying is more profound than just doing what one is told. It is a faith commitment to trust and obey God. In teaching your kids to be under authority, you demonstrate the foundational truth that submission to God’s authority is the pathway to blessing.

3. The heart is the wellspring of life.

Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flows the springs of life. (Prov. 4:23)

Life flows from the heart. The problem we have does not just consist of the ways we sin, but the sin that lies under the sin. It is the pride, the compulsive self-centeredness, the love of self, the envy, and the assorted sinful attitudes of heart that motivate behavior. It is easy for parents to focus on behavior and miss the heart.

Jesus reminds us that behaviors such as coveting, deceit, envy, slander, arrogance, and pride flow from the heart (see Mark 7:2–23). A major part of the parenting task is helping children identify the heart attitudes that lie under the ways they sin. Of course, understanding the attitudes of heart that lie beneath your own besetting sins will facilitate asking good questions that help your children understand their hearts.

4. Keep the gospel central.

The heart of our faith is not how to be good enough to earn eternal life. The heart of our faith is the One who was good enough. Jesus is incarnate to be our Savior. He lived the life we could not live; He lived without sin so that we could have righteousness. He died the death we could not die; He laid down His life on the cross to deliver us from the guilt and condemnation of our sin. He was raised to life for our justification. Even now He prays for us at the Father’s right hand.

This hope of grace, forgiveness, salvation, and empowerment is truth that our children (and we ourselves) always need. As you correct and disciple, always hold the hope of the gospel before your children. We deny the gospel when we tell children they can be good in their own strength. The encouragement of Hebrews 2:17 is that Jesus who, as a man, suffered being tempted, can help us in our temptations.

5. What you model is powerful.

Deuteronomy 6:5 captures this truth: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” Your love for God, your joy in Him, and your gratitude and satisfaction for all that God is to you in Christ are important truths for you to model for your children. The next verses capture how essential this modeling is: “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children” (Deut. 6:6–7).

Each day, as you live with your children, you are presenting a view of reality. You are showing them that you believe that God is good and the rewarder of those who seek Him. By loving God and others, you model the truth that the law of God is good. As you make a priority of worship, you tell them that life is found in God. When you are kind to people who are unkind, you show the magnanimity and kindness of God. Everything you do provides a narrative of truth for your children.

Your submission to God in all things, your honesty about the ways your heart is prone to wander, and your hope in the grace of the gospel all provide a narrative for your children. Raising children for God is some of the greatest work you will ever do.