How Can I Balance Serving Others with Dealing with My Chronic Illness?

NATHAN W. BINGHAM: Joining us this week on the Ask Ligonier Podcast is Dr. Sinclair Ferguson, a Ligonier Ministries teaching fellow, and also our Vice Chairman here at Ligonier. Dr. Ferguson, we have a question this week from someone who suffers from a chronic illness, and they’d like to know how they can balance sacrificial love and service to others with taking care of their own body.

DR. SINCLAIR FERGUSON: Well, suffering from chronic illness is a suffering that other people don’t always see, and I think that in itself can present certain challenges to people. You know, if you break a leg, people are sympathetic, and you discover an amazing number of people seem to have broken a leg as well, and there’s a community of sympathy. But I think one of the things that happens with somebody who experiences chronic sickness is that with it, they can feel quite isolated, and that sometimes produces a certain sense of conflict within them that they want to do more to serve Christ, but they don’t feel able to do more.

So, I think I would say certain things. The first is to remember what the cabin staff say when they speak to you at the beginning of a flight, that in an emergency there will be masks that will drop, you hope, from these compartments above you, and if you are carrying somebody who’s a child or you’re with somebody who is unwell, make sure you put your own mask on before you help somebody else. And I think it is not only important, but I think it’s liberating for us to understand that God understands our chronic sickness and He wants us to take care of ourselves. And that’s not just an option; that’s actually a command. That’s part of what it means to love ourselves as we love our neighbors. We want to care for our neighbors, but it really is a command that we should also care for ourselves.

And I’m struck by the fact that when Paul writes to Timothy, remember, he says to Timothy, who obviously himself suffered from some kind of chronic sickness—it seemed to be gastric in nature, but it maybe affected other parts of his anatomy—he says to him, “Make sure you take care of yourself and take a little wine for your stomach sake.” And he actually says, “Stop drinking water.” And I think that’s an indication that there was some conflict in Timothy and that Paul is saying, “Timothy, you will not be of use in the kingdom unless you take care of yourself.” So, it’s really important to do that, and I think it’s also releasing to know that the Scriptures encourage us to do that because, often as Christians, we have this inner drive to do more, and sometimes that drive can lead as astray. So, I would say that’s the first thing.

I think the second thing I would say is that in the very nature of the case, a chronic sickness or chronic illness is not only physical; it also usually affects us emotionally and psychologically and, therefore, can also affect us spiritually. It can make us prone to discouragement and even depression. If there is in your church a friend with a cheerful spirit but who is also not irritatingly cheerful, who has a sympathetic spirit, then cultivate that friendship. And then I think most of all in this connection: keep your eyes fixed in Christ because He understands you, and He is sympathetic.

And then, the third major thing I think I would say is we live in an evangelical subculture where our spiritual value is often measured by what we do, whereas in Scripture, our spiritual value is measured by two things. One is how much God loves us because He’s given His Son for us. And the second thing is that what matters to Him is not so much what we do, but who we are and what we become. And you do not need to be doing as a Christian to minister to others. Just your being the way you are as a Christian—even the way you handle chronic sickness as a Christian—leaves its mark on others.

I think I saw that many, many years ago in a man I knew who had been at university for quite a number of years when I arrived at university. And because he had various illnesses, including a brain tumor that was operated on at least a couple of times, we ended up in the same year in theological studies and became very good friends. He was a very unusual person, really unusual person. And eventually, he was really debilitated in many ways by his illness, and he went to be with the Lord. And afterwards—he was doing a doctorate at the time, but he was quite a bit older than I was—and I was given his papers to see if I could make something of them. And I wrote a little memoir of him with some things that he had done. But as I looked at the papers, I was really puzzled because I couldn’t—I was looking for something that told me this is what this man’s life was for, a kind of tangible fruit of his life. And then it dawned on me that actually wasn’t what God purposed him to be for and that the really important thing about him was not what he accomplished but what God made him, because you couldn’t be with him without seeing how God had given him grace to be strong in the midst of his weakness and to keep looking to Christ in the midst of his affliction. And he was a great example to me of that principle: it doesn’t matter what you do or what you can’t do, but that God ministers to others through what you are.

And I think that’s a very helpful thing to remember when our powers are lessened, not just through chronic illness but also when we get older and we feel we’re not doing as much as we used to be able to do, that it’s who we are in the family of God that really matters.