Don’t Rely on Fluctuating Feelings

I will never forget a time where I was speaking to a church where I was serving as a visiting pastor because the regular minister was extremely ill. And it was a great crisis for the people because their pastor was dying, and he was greatly beloved by the congregation. And I was called upon to do a special service at the church, and it was a Communion service. And I remember how deeply I wanted this to be an unforgettable moment in the life of the people of this congregation, because I knew they were looking to me to help usher them into the presence of God. And so, I prayed earnestly for that service. I prepared a special sermon.

And I remember it was one of those days where I got up into the pulpit, and it just seemed like every word that I wanted to say wouldn’t come, that my mind was blank, that I was lethargic. And I just felt a terrible, sterile absence of God. And then I went and proceeded through the Lord’s Supper, and I felt like a hypocrite because I felt so unmoved by the whole thing. And I remember at the close of the service, I felt like such a failure that after I pronounced the benediction, I didn’t want to have to go stand at the back door and greet the people. I wanted to run. I wanted to find a place to hide. So I didn’t. I went to the back door, and I stood there to greet the people.

And I’ll never forget it, because one person after another just came out of there with this look of raptured bliss on their face. And they said to me, and they squeezed my hand, “Oh pastor, I’ve never felt the presence of God like I did today.” And the whole congregation kind of experienced the revival, and I missed it. And I walked out of there and I thought, “Never again am I going to allow my feelings to determine the truth of God’s promised presence.”

Of course, I have the struggle with that vow because there are many times since then that I have wrestled with that same sensation. But the lesson I hope that I learned that day was the truthfulness of God’s integrity in keeping His Word rests not upon my feelings or upon your feelings, but upon His character.