God Regulates Marriage

Most people in the Christian church recognize that marriage is instituted of God and is not merely a convention of society. But a point that is so rarely acknowledged is the second point about God’s involvement in marriage. Not only does God institute marriage, but He regulates it by His commandments. Think about that. Marriage is not a gift where God says to His creation, “Here’s a wonderful thing. Do with it what you want. I’ll ordain marriage. I’ll institute marriage. I’ll put My blessing on your marriage. But after you get married, you work it out how you want to work it out—that you are free to do whatever you both agree upon doing in that marriage.” No. God regulates marriage. He doesn’t just give it to us and tell us to be autonomous in how we work it out.

So we look to the Scriptures to see the commandments that govern marriage. That God’s authority is over that marriage, and a Christian who ignores or violates the regulations that God sets down for marriage is a Christian who is acting in defiance against divine authority. When I enter into a marriage relationship, I am not simply obligated to the church. I am not simply obligated to the state. I am now under a new, covenant relationship with God. A whole new set of stipulations comes upon me by divine authority. Again, His law proceeds not only from His righteousness, but from His wisdom and His benevolence. If we could just get that through our minds.

See, when we try to get around the regulations of marriage that God sets down because we think they’re too severe. Or we think Jesus’ view of divorce is too narrow, as His own disciples responded to His teaching of divorce. He says, “Whoever wants to get married.” That’s taking too great of a risk if I have to go into that kind of a commitment, that kind of an obligation.

But it’s the God of heaven and earth who gives these regulations. And He does it not to be a nasty dictator or despot tyrannizing us by putting us in chains, but His regulations pursued both from His wisdom and His benevolent desire for our welfare and our well-being. Disobedience cannot possibly produce happiness. It can produce pleasure, but there is a difference between pleasure and happiness. That’s why we sin, because that’s why sin is attractive. It is pleasurable. It gives us our thrills. It’s fun for a season. But if we look at the long-run effects and consequences, it cannot produce the depth dimension of what the Scriptures call happiness, and we all know it.